"In this dirty minded world, you are either someone's wife or someone's whore. And if you're not either people think there is something wrong with you....but there is nothing wrong with me."
-John Irving My face looks pretty most days. Clickie here to see it.
“October extinguished itself in a rush of howling winds and driving rain and November arrived, cold as frozen iron, with hard frosts every morning and icy drafts that bit at exposed hands and faces.”J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (via elenamjacobs)
Other person: I already explained to you that it’s hot in here!
Autistic person: The door is open!
Other person: Why do you have to repeat things all the time?!
Often when this happens, what’s really going on is that the autistic person is trying to communicate something, and they’re not being understood. The other person things that they are understanding and responding, and that the autistic person is just repeating the same thing over and over either for no reason or because they are being stubborn and inflexible and obnoxious and pushy.
When what’s really happening is that the autistic person is not being understood, and they are communicating using the words they have. There’s a NT social expectation that if people aren’t being understood, they should change their words and explain things differently. Sometimes autistic people aren’t capable of doing this without help.
So, if this is happening, assume it’s communication and try to figure out what’s being communicated. If you’re the one with more words, and you want the communication to happen in words, then you have to provide words that make communication possible. For example:
Other person: Do you want the door to be closed, or are you saying something else?
Autistic person: Something else
Other person: Do you want to show me something outside, or something else?
Autistic person: Something else
Other person: Are you worried about something that might happen, or something else?
Autistic person: Worried
Other person: Are you worried that something will come in, or that something will go out?
Autistic person: Baby
Other person: She’s in her crib, and the baby gate is up. Is that ok, or is there still a problem?
Autistic person: ok
Holy fuck.
This changes everything.
*leaves for reference*
I babysat an autistic kid for a few years, it’s hard to understand how their brain works sometimes but when you click, everything pays off. patience and love, my friends.
My brother is autistic, and I can assure you ,this helps. Also, if they seem agitated when you ask them questions, use a calm, soft tone of voice
But with that said, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES are you to talk to them using a ‘baby’ voice.
I have always been fascinated by these ‘world of 100 people’ things, I remember spending hours thinking through the ones on a poster at church when I was 9 or so. It really, really makes some really important stuff so blindingly clear, in numbers we can understand. And it should, I hope it does, inspire us to act.
Amazing post.
The reason these work so well is because the human brain is actually incapable of comprehending the actual amount in people in the world. Our mind unassisted can only understand numbers up to a certain amount. Even 83% of 7 billion is difficult to grasp because we know that’s a Fuck ton, but on the flip side 17% of 7 billion is a Shit load. So our brain realy can’t comprehend the gravity of what exactly is the difference one fuck ton and one shit load. But when you take away the percent, remove this gigantic 7 billion number, and bring it down to 100, all of a sudden out brains go “oh! I know what 100 is! I can understand this!” And things are a lot clearer.
“When I was pregnant, patients often asked me if it was hard/weird to do their abortion.
My response was simple, ‘Not at all. It is not the right time for you, but it is for me. Later on, if you decide to become a parent, I will be by your side then too.’”
The year is 2015, and you still have to explain to adult men AND women that there’s no such thing as a “tight” or “loose” vagina, because it’s a muscle that expands and contracts depending on a variety of reasons. Or that a woman does not pee out of her vagina. Or that reaching an orgasm during sexual assault does not mean the person enjoyed it. Or that abortion is not the destruction of a fetus, but is of a clump of cells. That the length of a penis has NO relevance to the ability to preform well sexually, since the average vagina is only 3-4 inches long. That pubic hair is not unsanitary or gross, it actually helps protect the sex organs against bacteria, and shaving actually increases chance of infection, abscesses and rashes. But no, we don’t need comprehensive sex ed in America, we’re doing fine!
